Dr Thuy-vy T Nguyen is an Associate Professor in our Department of Psychology, and Principal Investigator of the Solitude Lab. Here, she discusses whether people are becoming more anti-social.
Recently, The Atlantic published an article called “The Anti-Social Century,” where Derek Thompson discussed how more American people are choosing to “stay in” and live solo, and how this trend is reshaping American life. Similarly, CNN writer Harmeet Kaur described the decline of dinner parties in her article, “Why the Dinner Party is a Declining Art”, suggesting that ‘Young people are too busy, too burnt out, or too broke to bother.’
Many experts worry about a growing “loneliness epidemic.” Governments and organisations like the World Health Organisation say loneliness is a serious problem, particularly in developed countries like the United States, United Kingdom and Japan. It’s easy to assume that loneliness is caused by people not gathering or interacting as much. But this explanation is too simplistic.
In the past, people relied heavily on family and close social groups for support. Today, improved access to things like healthcare and transportation make living alone much easier. As Professor Keith Snell outlines, we’ve built societies where people have more freedom to choose how they live.
Does choosing solitude make us lonelier? That’s a more complicated issue. Modern life has brought new challenges, like demanding work cultures, endless information from the internet and overstimulation. As I observe these trends, I wonder if many of us struggle to manage this constant demand, leading us to retreat into solitude as a way to cope. But perhaps the real question isn’t whether solitude makes us lonely – it’s whether the stress and demands of modern life are pushing us all toward loneliness.
Research conducted at Durham University shows that people often prefer to be alone when they’re feeling stressed, lonely or overwhelmed by social situations, especially younger people. We found that this desire for solitude is often driven by the need for personal freedom, a chance to recharge and time for reflection.
This shouldn’t necessarily be seen as alarming. In fact, it suggests that addressing social withdrawal in modern societies isn’t just about encouraging more interaction – it’s also about allowing more space for meaningful and restorative alone time.
Solitude doesn’t have to be a bad thing. When done right, it can help us recharge. Feeling better is when people want to connect with others again.
When I speak with experts and policymakers, I’m encouraged by the efforts to create social opportunities that bring people together. However, these initiatives often focus on encouraging individuals to change their behaviour, helping them to get out. This approach can overlook those facing bigger challenges, like financial struggles or demanding work schedules, which make it harder for them to participate.
I wonder – are we focusing too much on treating the symptoms rather than addressing the root causes? We need to think about how the relentless stressors of modern life contribute to social withdrawal. By focusing only on visible behaviours, we risk missing the larger societal changes that have shaped how we live today.
Let’s start with small, actionable changes. For example, employers need to take proactive steps to address work-related stress, which is driven not just by long hours but also by the intensity of demands placed on staff.
We also need to create more opportunities for social interactions to form naturally.
To create lasting change, we need to tackle the barriers that prevent people from socialising, rather than blaming solitude. This means improving public transportation, creating safe and affordable public spaces, and ensuring people have the time and energy to connect with others.
These steps can make social opportunities available to everyone – not just those who are already privileged and have financial resources and time for social activities.
The rise of solitary lifestyles reflects broader societal changes – not simply that we are becoming more ‘anti-social’.
Supporting individual well-being and fostering connection require us to go beyond individual solutions and address the environmental factors that shape behaviours. This approach ensures solutions are inclusive, sustainable, and accessible.
Additionally, solitude should not be viewed solely as a withdrawal from social life. Enhancing the quality of solitary experiences can contribute to well-being, allowing individuals to recharge and re-engage with the social world on their terms.
By valuing both connection and solitude, we can foster a healthier, more balanced approach to modern living.
Atalay, E. (2024). A twenty-first century of solitude? Time alone and together in the United States. Journal of Population Economics, 37(1), 12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00148-024-00978-0
Nguyen, T. T., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2018). Solitude as an Approach to Affective Self-Regulation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(1), 92-106. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217733073
Nguyen, T. T., Konu, D., & Forbes, S. (2023). Investigating solitude as a tool for downregulation of daily arousal using ecological momentary assessments. Journal of Personality. https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12939
Snell, K. D. M. (2017). The rise of living alone and loneliness in history. Social History, 42(1), 2-28. https://doi.org/10.1080/03071022.2017.1256093
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