International Day of Friendship is celebrated annually on 30 July. Lottie Thompson, a Postgraduate Research Student from our Department of English Studies, explains how friendship was a key theme of the work of Lawrence of Durham.
Lawrence of Durham was a monk, author, and poet who lived here in Durham in the first half of the 12th century. Lawrence was educated at Waltham Abbey Church and moved to Durham as a young boy to enter monastic life. As a poet and author, he enjoyed relative popularity in his day – 10 of his literary works survive today in over 20 manuscripts. He similarly had a successful monastic career – becoming Cantor and eventually Prior – and also worked as a clerk to the Bishop of Durham (meaning he lived in both Durham Castle and Durham Priory!).
One of Lawrence' major works is Consolation on the Death of a Friend (Consolatio de morte amici). This is a dialogue between our author, Lawrence, and a figure known only as the Consoler. Lawrence is presented as being in great distress following the death of a monk named Paganus, whom he describes as his best and closest friend. (We can see in Priory records that Lawrence entered monastic life at a similar time to Paganus.) In this dialogue Lawrence receives advice on how to process this grief and move to a place of relative peace (predominantly by drawing on the Stoic philosophy of Seneca). What I imagine would surprise modern readers most of all is that, is that despite being written around 900 years ago, this is a desperately moving and deeply human expression of love and grief – Lawrence cannot eat, he cannot sleep, daylight brings him no joy. If the literary representation is to be believed, Paganus' death affects Lawrence wretchedly; he struggles desperately with the idea that he must now face life without his dearest friend.
Lawrence's Consolatio emphasises the essential role which friendships play in our life. Indeed, he writes: “in human affairs you can seek nothing better than a true friend, and nothing is more difficult to find or more delightful to have.” There is a particular emphasis on the fact that true friendship is not only about fondness and proximity – a true friend should also be a virtuous figure, someone who acts as a model by which you can better yourself, someone whom you are proud to be associated with for their good qualities. Importantly, their goodness should be shown not only in their words, but in their actions. This is what makes a true friend so hard to find and all the more precious to have. These are aspects of true friendship which we should still feel encouraged to reflect upon in our own lives.
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