Studying while parenting a child is hard enough to do. There is lots of advice for students, but not enough for students who have small children under 3 years old.
Here is some of my advice for such situations.
With children, you never know in advance what challenges will arise during the exam period.
I studied while breastfeeding, during nap times, and on walks... Breastfeeding and baby carriers were my most faithful helpers in studying with children.
P.S. I often reviewed material while breastfeeding before exams. For instance, evolutionary biology lulled my daughter to sleep better than lullabies.
With children, I had to find a new learning style that allowed me to truly understand rather than just memorize.
Such as audiobooks, videos, podcasts.
Audio and podcasts can be combined with walks and playground visits. I understood many complex theories thanks to information about the authors—biographies helped me grasp the author's worldview.
I was always a conscientious student with excellent grades. In my second university, I was studying with a toddler and during my pregnancy. My children were always my priority, and with nearly zero babysitting, that often meant my exam results depended on the number of sleepless nights or childhood illnesses.
I came to terms with the fact that I was doing the maximum possible in the given situation, and my performance didn’t always have to be perfect. I no longer studied alone; we studied together, and sometimes the results reflected that. It was a relief.
Studying with small children is not easy. I won’t paint it rosy.
There were times when I was completely exhausted, demotivated, and yes, I even cried. For example, when I was failed for the very first time.
However, it was these unsuccessful exams and challenges that pushed me forward—I learned to lower my expectations, find a better learning style, and accept failures as part of the journey.
I returned to the exam in evolutionary biology for the third time, and the strictest professor told me: "I thought you wouldn't come back. Not only did you return, but you impressed me with your performance. I take my hat off to you."
University with children in my arms meant one thing for me—no late-night studying, as it could backfire in the middle of the night, and I might end up not sleeping at all. I didn’t rely on studying at night.
Even if I couldn't learn everything, I preferred sleep, whether during the day with the child or falling asleep with them in the evening. I relied on rest, which would help me during exams—figuring out what I hadn’t managed to study.
Here, I must admit I have a personality advantage. I enjoy and quickly get to know people. Good relationships with classmates have helped me many times. I engaged in conversations during breaks or before lectures and found like-minded souls.
We supported each other before exams and shared notes and tips on how each person approached exams. One of the best forms of help ever.
No more careless notes and dozing off in lectures. I realized that sometimes a lecture is the only chance I have to learn a particular topic. So, I got nice notebooks, plenty of colourful pens, and took care with my notes.
At my age and in my situation, I suddenly didn’t care whether a question was silly or not. I needed to understand it as quickly as possible so that I wouldn’t waste time at home. Being active in class pays off.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most of the time, we didn’t have grandmothers available for babysitting. They lived more than four hours away by car. However, when I had the toughest exam or my state exams along with finishing my thesis, I knew that my husband and I couldn’t manage without them. (On top of that, we both worked from home.)
We agreed in advance with my mother-in-law that she would come to help us. I only needed her to play with the kids during the day; I could already "rest" from studying with them during bedtime. I think I wouldn't have managed my exams with two small children without her help.
Why do you study? Why it is important for you? Write it down and remind yourself in difficult times.
These are mine:
Studying what truly interests me.
I could finally connect my practice with theory and complete the entire puzzle.
The opportunity to delve deep into a topic.
To elevate awareness to a new level.
The chance to learn from great experts in my field.
The opportunity to gain perspective through feedback on my research and findings.
The chance to set an example for my children that they can pursue their dreams even with children in their arms or on their breast, as they feel. However, it’s also important not to go beyond one’s health and current capabilities. For some, it’s better to wait until later. Everything has its right time.
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